As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
