Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
