There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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