It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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