i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
