and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
