I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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