..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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where are my pants?
in the oven.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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