the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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