Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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