People in love make me want to vomit
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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