Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
