Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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