Life is so much better after having sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize