Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
now i know why i became what i already was.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
