My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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