he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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