Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
