Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
