Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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