Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
