I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
