im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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