okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
