She just used a chaser for red wine.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
