There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
