that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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