i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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