Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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