Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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