That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
