Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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