How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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