She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
