I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
