none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
