Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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