Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.