I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.