Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises