There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same