The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
