I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
