i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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