i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
