eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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