I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
