I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't put those talents on a resume
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
