Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize