break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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