ugly people sure do ruin things
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My vagina is officially offended.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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