I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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