apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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