I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
