Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
