You're so nebulous sometimes
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So much Jack, so little girl.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
