so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
