I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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