I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
