So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.