my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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