how can u be prego again
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.