...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.