how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?