She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
