Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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