So drunk its hurt
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
