I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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