hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
